When working to arouse either yourself or others, push aside all limits. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, sexual arousal is more than just reaching orgasm. It’s about getting to know your potential, and your partners, or that of just one of you. Don't be shy or wary of exploring just your own, or your partner's body. It doesn't always have to be about both of you. Adoring a person is fulfilling, just as it is fulfilling to be adored by someone - each without expecting anything in return. It doesn't have to be a mixture of give and take throughout a session together, one person can give for a whole session, while the other receives. This is what I try and encourage men to think about in tantric practice, in the use of sensual accessories, and in tantric massage, prostate massage, sensual massage, private male touch or shared intimate touch sessions. After years of getting to know myself and other men, I’m still discovering new things and I’m loving every second of it. Here are a few techniques you can use to take your “me” time, or exploring another man's body, to a first new level:
#1) The Praying Orgasm
Take some warming lube and rub it between your hands, then place them both on either side of your penis and interlock your fingers (as if you were praying). From there you can do anything you want, i.e. hump, stroke, bounce or jiggle your way to climax. It’s the best way to self pleasure and pray for your sins at the same time. A win, win.
#2) Work With Your Non-Master Hand
Nothing will work your mind up more than working with your non-master hand. Since I’m right-handed, every so often I’ll massage with my left hand. Because it’s more difficult connecting the feeling to my brain, it’s closer to the real thing than anything else when you’re alone. You often fantasize more as you are more disconnected from the normal. It’s fabulous.
#3) Chakra Balancing
Concentrate on the lower chakras first (the base and sacral chakras) and work your way up through the heart and throat up to the third eye and crown chakras. Chakras help you to focus on different forms of arousing energy - such as chanting, colours (red, orange and green are my favourites), shapes or music tones, aromas or meditational visulatisations. You can see which you already find stimulating, and which you can open up to explore more energy. Focus on yourself or your partner.
#4) Vapor Rubbing
Vapor Rub has more secrets than meets the eye. Not only does it clear your congestion, but it allows you to have killer sensations during an orgasm. The hot and cold alternations between strokes can give you one hell of a body shiver. Whether your putting it physically on your penis or just rubbing it around the base or testicles, make sure you open yourself up to every tingle. Trust me, it’ll be worth it.
#5) Bag Full of Warm Jelly
A friend of mine told me about this one and though at first I was quite hesitant, when I decided to give it a try I was completely proven wrong. Grab any kind of bag you can, plastic preferably so you can manoevre it easily, and put warm jelly inside. Wrap it around your penis and massage it as you normally would. The warm and gentle texture of the bag and jelly will create a feeling that’s nearly spot on.
#6) Dry Rubbing
I love to get a man hot and bothered while he’s in his undies. When your guy has a sensitive penis, it makes it much more erotic. But he shouldn’t be the only one that gets all the fun. Whenever you’re in your underwear, gently rub the outer edge of where your penis is. Don’t reach under – not yet at least. Enjoy the sensations of dry rubbing from the outside. It speeds up the heart rate through sensualness alone, which creates a much higher need to reach climax.
#7) Body Heat
Here’s a little trick. Wherever there is heat on your skin, the blood flow naturally migrates that direction. Whether it’s hot breath, warm jelly or even a warm bath, heat can take you to new heights. All an erection is, really, is blood flow. This is why we get shriveled in a cold climate. Work it to your advantage. Throw some socks in the microwave, get a heating pad and place it on your lower back, take a dip in the hot tub....warm flannels and mits or wax, hot stones, compresses and walnuts are a few options. Whatever you do, let the heat entrap inside your body and make sure it advances in the direction you want the blood to travel.
#8) Stop & Go
I like to bring the idea of prolonged climaxes into sexually arousing sessions. Unless you’re in a hurry, there’s no need to rush an orgasm. The more you make it last, the better the reward will be once you reach it. Raise sexual energy for five minutes and take a break, then repeat until your body can’t take the anticipation any longer. Not only does it enhance the sensations but it opens you up to have a body orgasm as simultaneously.
#9) Ball Pulling
For those who like a little pain during sex, or even just something new, pull your balls a few seconds before you feel like you’re about to ejaculate. Not only does it give you a bigger explosion, but you can actually feel the semen passing through your body if you pay attention to the feeling.
#10) Over Investigate Your Body
Don’t just focus on the penis and testicles. There are so many pressure points you can be focusing on – don’t neglect them. Your neck, buttocks, legs, arms, back, head, feet, face and everything in between should be touched, grasped, rubbed and worshiped. I particularly love to use acupressure and massage techniques. There’s no such thing as too much compensation for erogenous zones. Give everything there well-needed attention. Take it slow with a massage first to relax the muscles and the mind and really help you lose your consciousness and self-awareness and slip into a dreamworld.
#11) Re-enact Your Fantasy
Many men just lay on their back while masturbating, or look at a magaine or film of sexual images, or use some toys. If you love bottoming, bring your legs up or get into a position you would enjoy and let your imagination take over (even bring in a toy). Use your body to enhance the fantasy, not deplete it.
#12) Take Time before and afterwards
Relax before hand with a bath, shower, meditation, book or movie. Time time afterwards with the same. Or, if you are with a partner, talk over what you are going to do over a glass of wine or meal. Talking about whether you are sharing each others desires in the same session, or if one of you will be receiving and the other giving the adoration, worship and love ot the other. If you are giving, ask your partner what they want, or ask them if you can try certain activities that you want to try on them. Afterwards, you can hold each other, relax or have a bath, take time to think and talk about how it went and what you liked and didn't like... so you can progress further the next time.
There are so many options to experiment from time to time. Work with someone or on your own, you have the power to arouse and play with your sexual energy. If you're lucky like me to be able to help other men arouse their sexual energy in new ways, use your talent to its best.