A homemade Buddhist ritual for Letting Go

A homemade Buddhist ritual for Letting Go

Ritual in Buddhism is seen as an activity to build skillful means, or upaya (as translated in Sanskrit). We partake in this when we need supportive refuge or to come back to our true intention.

Rituals are a meditation in action to invoke love, peace, harmony and health, and also something we can use to say goodbye. Holding on to anger or resentment is often just our ego’s way of still wanting to be right. In the skillful means of letting go, we try to not make things right or wrong, but rather see things just as they are clearly. In fact, one of the most popular styles of Buddhist mediation is called Vipassana, which literally translates in Sanskrit to “clear seeing.” When we are able to let go of things, we can then approach our situation again with a steady view.

Here are the steps for my own Buddhist ritual for letting go:

(If you are new to rituals, set a timer for five minutes. If you are experienced, do this for as long as you wish!)

In Buddhism, we structure rituals with a beginning, a middle and an end. More...

Create a life that feels good on the inside and outside

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside

I would like to thank everyone who has sent me guidance, advice and love. You are all very special, kind and thoughtful. I thank you for taking the time to write, call or visit me at the summer festivals. What a summer it has been so far! WOMAD and Male Tantra to start!

I'm happy in my own company, so initially I decided to turn off my social media for a few days. Are you aware of how much time you spend each day trawling through facebook, twitter and all the other networking and social media? It had become addictive, and what was I gaining from it? I knew who was doing what with who? Who's going where on holiday etc. I'm totally not knocking this, but being without it has been beneficial in so many ways. The constant interaction is really not necessary and making a conscious effort to be away from it and people has been beneficial for me.
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Love, Nothingness and Surrender in Tamil Nadu

In recent years, I have been deeply blessed, taking weeks out for just ‘being’, spending many days in contemplation and reflection, and, would you believe, lots of silence. I laugh when I write this, because I do enjoy silence a lot!

One of the special places I have visited is Tiruvannamalai, a pilgrims’ and temple town in Tamil Nadu (India), by Mt Arunachala, a sacred extinct volcano, the very place where the great spiritual master Ramana Maharishi became enlightened. What attracted me to this place is its incredible spiritual energy, and the fact that each winter there is a collection of Satsang Teachers who give Satsang each day. I was there for 8 days and attended 2 Satsangs each day in 2012/2013. It was absolutely exhausting to be in that presence for a whole 8 days, twice per day and when I reflected afterwards I wondered if it was because when you are in Satsang you sit in the energy of an enlightened person. More...

Connection and Intimacy

What if studying tantra could heal our societal addiction to Porn? What if tapping into our natural abilities - to experience ecstasy - changes everything?

I was really nervous when I first realized that I wanted to learn more and then to teach Tantra. What would people think? Would they be offended? Talking about sex is such a no-no. We live in a very conservative talking way, where sexual acitivties and desires are often sidelined to discussions with private, intimate friends. Some people don't have these connections with their partners and friends. Some people therefore have no opportuntiy to discuss or act within these essential parts of our lives and help themselves by the main way the commercial world allows them - by viewing porn. How can I change this? Tantra is essentially the OPPOSITE of porn.

Despite some opinions, I believe that porn isn’t a naughty or despicable activity to engage in. People should enjoy choosing to spend their time on their own, watching porn. Lots of people truly enjoy watching porn, including many couples who use it together to have a new experience. Yet it is seemingly undeniable that there are some sides to porn that are not therapeutic to the person. Tantra offers a therapeutic, open explorative, and holistic approach to our sexual lives in the opposite way to porn (and the open commercial approach to sexuality) can restrain us as human beings. More...

5 Tibetans Yoga - Simple Stretching Exercises for Chakras, Weight Loss and Tantra

At al Covo, we offer a chakra balancing training course, meditation or stretching treatments here at the suite, and this exercise below, called '5 Tibetans', is an example of an programme you can follow through here at our suite, or at home. The Five Tibetans rejuvenate the entire psycho-physio network, stimulating full energy flow through the chakras and enliven corresponding nerves, organs and glands. These exercises also tone and strengthen the major muscle groups, contributing to a strong, resilient physique. I recommend that the 5 Tibetans for those who lack energy in their day to day lives, require a rebalancing, or perhaps those wanting to promote weight loss.

Begin with a comfortable number of repetitions, then you can increase up to 21. More...

P-C Muscle Tantric Exercise for Men

This practice is ideal for men who want to experience an outwardly non-physically stimulating state of sexual arousal. In other words, a build up of sexual energy without hands or any other method of stimulating the penis. This can lead to auto-ejaculation- the ability to reach an ejaculation without stimulating your penis. Instead, we use the breath, and use your pc (perineal-coccygeal muscles) muscles and really let your arousal state fly. And if auto-ejaculation does not happen, then the practise of trying to get there is already highly tantric and I'll give you some other hints and tips that can take you into an orgasmic state. More...

Some Basic Approaches to Exploring Sexual Stimulation

When working to arouse either yourself or others, push aside all limits. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, sexual arousal is more than just reaching orgasm. It’s about getting to know your potential, and your partners, or that of just one of you. Don't be shy or wary of exploring just your own, or your partner's body. It doesn't always have to be about both of you. Adoring a person is fulfilling, just as it is fulfilling to be adored by someone - each without expecting anything in return. It doesn't have to be a mixture of give and take throughout a session together, one person can give for a whole session, while the other receives. This is what I try and encourage men to think about in tantric practice, in the use of sensual accessories, and in tantric massage, prostate massage, sensual massage, private male touch or shared intimate touch sessions. After years of getting to know myself and other men, I’m still discovering new things and I’m loving every second of it. Here are a few techniques you can use to take your “me” time, or exploring another man's body, to a first new level:

 

#1) The Praying Orgasm

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Sex, Food and Theatre: A Cultural Reflection

I have really noticed over the last few weeks how our shame with sex and sexuality can manifest itself. If we were enlightened beings we could accept sex as a natural part of who we are and experience it without shame, guilt or judgements. And we would freely use it as ways to experience bliss and profound altered states of consciousness. You would then ask the question about what gets in the way in that? What stops that happening? Over the last few weeks I have been aware that some forms of tantric offerings on the market are too sexual in their online imagery, that a 'love temple' is an excuse for an orgy, and that people make too much noise when experiencing bliss. When I reflect on this, I wonder if this all comes from our own social programming, not to be too loud in sex, not to make too much noise, that sex at some level is wrong, that too much sex makes you self-centred and just about personal gratification. More...

25 Facts About BDSM - a Realistic, Tantric Perspective

At Man On The Couch training and treatments at al Covo, we realise you experience all kinds of emotions during massage, well-being and tantra treatments. With all the interest in Fifty Shades of Grey, I thought it would help to put a different perspective on BDSM which forms an important but little well-known aspect of some people's chosen emotional experiences. So, forget Fifty Shades of Grey. here comes your real primer on all things kink. Man On The Couch trains in some of BDSM aspects, for beginners, in our Tantric Practice course, Sensual Toys and Accessories course, and discuss more in theory in our Tantric Concepts course. If you wish to experience BDSM as a client, you can choose Sensual Accessories as part of a Sensual Massage, Tantric Massage, Prostate Massage, or Shared Intimate Touch treatment

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Are you Tired? Surrender to Loving

Are you Tired? Surrender to Loving

Are you tired? If not, get tired! If you are not tired, you will never reach home. Only if you are tired, will you ever rest, will you reach home. Everything in the world tires you; the one thing that will not tire you is love, because that is the goal, that is home. Have you ever heard anyone say, "Oh, I am so tired of loving"? It is unheard of because it is not possible to be tired in love!

You are tired of convincing people, of explaining things to people, of comforting, or pleasing people. You can be tired of everything else, even enjoyment! In fact, tiredness is the shadow of enjoyment. What puts you on the road, and what brings you home, is being in love.

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About the author

Steve from AlcovoBorn in Worcestershire, and educated to second (Masters) degree in Geography, I worked in a corporate company before being inspired more fully into well-being from travels to the Eastern and Tropical countries of the Philippines, India, Kenya, the Maldives, Mauritius and Mozambique.

I gained an understanding of spas, treatments and clients along my way, and have developed this into my own practice, al Covo, to which I welcome you warmly. I pride myself on al Covo's warmth, peaceful aura, hygiene and thoroughness.

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