Create a life that feels good on the inside and outside

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside

I would like to thank everyone who has sent me guidance, advice and love. You are all very special, kind and thoughtful. I thank you for taking the time to write, call or visit me at the summer festivals. What a summer it has been so far! WOMAD and Male Tantra to start!

I'm happy in my own company, so initially I decided to turn off my social media for a few days. Are you aware of how much time you spend each day trawling through facebook, twitter and all the other networking and social media? It had become addictive, and what was I gaining from it? I knew who was doing what with who? Who's going where on holiday etc. I'm totally not knocking this, but being without it has been beneficial in so many ways. The constant interaction is really not necessary and making a conscious effort to be away from it and people has been beneficial for me.
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Love, Nothingness and Surrender in Tamil Nadu

In recent years, I have been deeply blessed, taking weeks out for just ‘being’, spending many days in contemplation and reflection, and, would you believe, lots of silence. I laugh when I write this, because I do enjoy silence a lot!

One of the special places I have visited is Tiruvannamalai, a pilgrims’ and temple town in Tamil Nadu (India), by Mt Arunachala, a sacred extinct volcano, the very place where the great spiritual master Ramana Maharishi became enlightened. What attracted me to this place is its incredible spiritual energy, and the fact that each winter there is a collection of Satsang Teachers who give Satsang each day. I was there for 8 days and attended 2 Satsangs each day in 2012/2013. It was absolutely exhausting to be in that presence for a whole 8 days, twice per day and when I reflected afterwards I wondered if it was because when you are in Satsang you sit in the energy of an enlightened person. More...

Connection and Intimacy

What if studying tantra could heal our societal addiction to Porn? What if tapping into our natural abilities - to experience ecstasy - changes everything?

I was really nervous when I first realized that I wanted to learn more and then to teach Tantra. What would people think? Would they be offended? Talking about sex is such a no-no. We live in a very conservative talking way, where sexual acitivties and desires are often sidelined to discussions with private, intimate friends. Some people don't have these connections with their partners and friends. Some people therefore have no opportuntiy to discuss or act within these essential parts of our lives and help themselves by the main way the commercial world allows them - by viewing porn. How can I change this? Tantra is essentially the OPPOSITE of porn.

Despite some opinions, I believe that porn isn’t a naughty or despicable activity to engage in. People should enjoy choosing to spend their time on their own, watching porn. Lots of people truly enjoy watching porn, including many couples who use it together to have a new experience. Yet it is seemingly undeniable that there are some sides to porn that are not therapeutic to the person. Tantra offers a therapeutic, open explorative, and holistic approach to our sexual lives in the opposite way to porn (and the open commercial approach to sexuality) can restrain us as human beings. More...

5 Tibetans Yoga - Simple Stretching Exercises for Chakras, Weight Loss and Tantra

At al Covo, we offer a chakra balancing training course, meditation or stretching treatments here at the suite, and this exercise below, called '5 Tibetans', is an example of an programme you can follow through here at our suite, or at home. The Five Tibetans rejuvenate the entire psycho-physio network, stimulating full energy flow through the chakras and enliven corresponding nerves, organs and glands. These exercises also tone and strengthen the major muscle groups, contributing to a strong, resilient physique. I recommend that the 5 Tibetans for those who lack energy in their day to day lives, require a rebalancing, or perhaps those wanting to promote weight loss.

Begin with a comfortable number of repetitions, then you can increase up to 21. More...

Some Basic Approaches to Exploring Sexual Stimulation

When working to arouse either yourself or others, push aside all limits. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, sexual arousal is more than just reaching orgasm. It’s about getting to know your potential, and your partners, or that of just one of you. Don't be shy or wary of exploring just your own, or your partner's body. It doesn't always have to be about both of you. Adoring a person is fulfilling, just as it is fulfilling to be adored by someone - each without expecting anything in return. It doesn't have to be a mixture of give and take throughout a session together, one person can give for a whole session, while the other receives. This is what I try and encourage men to think about in tantric practice, in the use of sensual accessories, and in tantric massage, prostate massage, sensual massage, private male touch or shared intimate touch sessions. After years of getting to know myself and other men, I’m still discovering new things and I’m loving every second of it. Here are a few techniques you can use to take your “me” time, or exploring another man's body, to a first new level:

 

#1) The Praying Orgasm

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25 Facts About BDSM - a Realistic, Tantric Perspective

At Man On The Couch training and treatments at al Covo, we realise you experience all kinds of emotions during massage, well-being and tantra treatments. With all the interest in Fifty Shades of Grey, I thought it would help to put a different perspective on BDSM which forms an important but little well-known aspect of some people's chosen emotional experiences. So, forget Fifty Shades of Grey. here comes your real primer on all things kink. Man On The Couch trains in some of BDSM aspects, for beginners, in our Tantric Practice course, Sensual Toys and Accessories course, and discuss more in theory in our Tantric Concepts course. If you wish to experience BDSM as a client, you can choose Sensual Accessories as part of a Sensual Massage, Tantric Massage, Prostate Massage, or Shared Intimate Touch treatment

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Are you Tired? Surrender to Loving

Are you Tired? Surrender to Loving

Are you tired? If not, get tired! If you are not tired, you will never reach home. Only if you are tired, will you ever rest, will you reach home. Everything in the world tires you; the one thing that will not tire you is love, because that is the goal, that is home. Have you ever heard anyone say, "Oh, I am so tired of loving"? It is unheard of because it is not possible to be tired in love!

You are tired of convincing people, of explaining things to people, of comforting, or pleasing people. You can be tired of everything else, even enjoyment! In fact, tiredness is the shadow of enjoyment. What puts you on the road, and what brings you home, is being in love.

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A World of Love

In my meditations recently I have been sat with the question about “What would it be like to love all of yourself?”

At first glance, it’s easy to brush it all off and say of course I love all of myself, or I love myself.

But the bit I am after in this self-reflection, is the parts of you that you don’t love or don’t like about yourself. If you were to start to make a list of those areas, it could start to be quite telling.

On a pathway of self-exploration and self-development, self-acceptance for me is one of the keys of Love. I describe Love as being something you can experience, either on your own, with another object or person, but I also want to introduce the idea of it being a state of being. By this I mean, feeling in contact with your heart centre as well as your logical head both at the same time. See if you can practice that for a while, how it is to sit between these 2 places, head and heart and then take a look around you. The world can start to look quite different.

I would describe this as being the optimal way of being, connected with both in tandem. More...

Age and Levels of Sexual Intimacy

Contrary to what many people believe, intimacy doesn’t come naturally. It is something that is achieved in time, with both partners working hard and doing their part.

When it comes to sexual intimacy, does age matter? According to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), our brains are not fully matured until we reach the age of 25. Between the age of 15 and 20, our prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain that allows us to create long-term strategies, understand the consequences of our decisions, and helps us compare the risks and reward of our actions – continues to grow and develop. At this age, we are highly impressionable. Most of our beliefs and stance in life are based on what we see, read and hear from others, so as our view of sexual intimacy. Our knowledge and fantasies about sex are all borrowed from movies, books, family and friends, and the internet. So when we talk about what makes sex good, we say “according to… it’s the…”  More...

The Inner Flute

At first the concept of an inner flute on a vertical line within your body may seem strange. To understand what I mean, imagine listening to a piece of music that has everything except the main instrument. It maybe rock and roll without the lead guitar, or Mozart woodwind concerto without the flute. You hear the rhythm, the piece is vaguely familiar, but somehow the essential element that would weave it together, set the mood and give the music soul is missing.

Often ordinary sex is like playing music without the main instrument. The exchange begins beautifully, but the crescendo is interrupted, or the instruments are poorly tuned and the experience is flat. Some element is missing that would allow the lovemaking to take off, to contain a “tune”. The Inner Flute is the instrument that will make your sexual energies “sing”. As you open the Inner Flute channel, you learn how to amplify your arousal and redistribute your sexual energy, your orgasmic sensations, to your entire body. Without the Inner Flute the sexual music played on the single instrument of the genitals could not expand so readily into a symphony in which the whole body becomes involved. Through this practice you will discover the fallacy of the popular belief that sexual orgasm is exclusively a genital affair.

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About the author

Steve from AlcovoBorn in Worcestershire, and educated to second (Masters) degree in Geography, I worked in a corporate company before being inspired more fully into well-being from travels to the Eastern and Tropical countries of the Philippines, India, Kenya, the Maldives, Mauritius and Mozambique.

I gained an understanding of spas, treatments and clients along my way, and have developed this into my own practice, al Covo, to which I welcome you warmly. I pride myself on al Covo's warmth, peaceful aura, hygiene and thoroughness.

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